“I can’t believe he said that to me!!
” How could she do that? I thought she cared about me.”
“I have been so hurt in my past, I just can’t trust people.”
Have you ever heard yourself saying something like the above statements? And then stay in the unhappiness of those thoughts or statements. Well you aren’t alone. Most of us have all allowed our own happiness to be impacted by: what someone else says or does, what we think about what they did, and allowing our past experiences with people all to influence our moods.
In this 3 part “Juicy Tips Moments” you will learn the 3 myths we tell ourselves that often keep us unhappy and tips on what you can do to change it around.
Watch Part 1 video to find out the first myth and what you can do about it, or keep reading below.
The first myth we tell ourselves is that what someone else did or says matters.
The truth is that what someone else does is what someone ELSE does. The important thing to remember is that it is about them NOT you.
You have two choices in this situation.
1. Keep the story of what they said or did going around and around in your head. Build it up. Make sure you tell the story to all of your friends and family and even tell the person who did it how horrible they were/are for doing or saying it
or
2. Flip it! Get to the place within yourself, that what they said or did doesn’t mean anything about you and therefore doesn’t have to matter and have lasting impact on you.
Here are the 3 steps to Flip It!
a. Take your power back!!! Tell yourself “What they said or did was about them not about me.” Then sort through what was your reaction to it connect to your feelings about the situation. What are your reasons for reacting (this is about you not them). Did you feel hurt, disrespected, etc. If there is a reaction because the situation connected to any of your past experiences sort through and make sense of your reaction from your past. Then make a decision regarding what you need to do to take care of yourself and move forward (this is a self care issue not about the other person).
b. We are all imperfect and make mistakes as human beings. Learn how to accept yourself as imperfect and that it is ok to make mistakes. As you accept this within yourself this will help you to better be able to accept mistakes of those around you. Remembering that when upset or hurt in the past you have made mistakes will help you also have empathy and accept that the other person in their upset or imperfect state made a mistake as well.
c. If this is an ongoing important person in your life you can then take the time to figure out what you would need them to do differently next time. Then when you are no longer upset you can go back to the person and let them know how you felt in the situation and let them know what they can do differently for the next time.
So remember, what the other person does or did doesn’t have to matter to you and impact your happiness.
If you enjoyed this video and found it helpful, share it with a friend. And stay tuned for part 2.