“I can’t believe he said that to me!!
” How could she do that? I thought she cared about me.”
“I have been so hurt in my past, I just can’t trust people.”
Have you ever heard yourself saying something like the above statements? And then stay in the unhappiness of those thoughts or statements. Well you aren’t alone. Most of us have all allowed our own happiness to be impacted by: what someone else says or does, what we think about what they did, and allowing our past experiences with people all to influence our moods.
In this 3 part “Juicy Tips Moments” you will learn the 3 myths we tell ourselves that often keep us unhappy and tips on what you can do to change it around.
Watch Part 3 video to find out the third myth and what you can do about it, or keep reading below.
The third myth is the idea that “My feelings depend on what other people do or say.” We may not always say this consciously but we do allow it to happen to us. To change this myth you must make a conscious choice when it comes to your thoughts and feelings in any situation.
The National Science Foundation says that we have as many as 50,000 thoughts per day. That is a lot of thoughts going on in our head. Why does this matter? Because “As our thoughts go, so go our feelings.”
In Cognitive Behavioral Therapy there is a technique that is taught called “Thought Stopping.” This technique, when utilized, can help a person to immediately interrupt their thought. In reality it can be that simple to change your thought and therefore change your feeling.
Here are 3 steps to help you change your thoughts:
1) To be more in control of your feelings you can change a negative thought to a positive thought. You need to practice this. Here is an example: “I’m overwhelmed, I’ll never get this all done.” or “There is a lot to do, I will do one thing at a time and will get to the end.” Then keep repeating the new more positive thought especially when the negative one pops up in your head again.
2) Move your focus onto something else. When our minds are busy and active there is no room to stay on our negative thoughts and feelings. So, get yourself busy with something that involves your mind and even your body. Do something else.
3) Move your focus to someone else. When we are ruminating on a negative thought about something someone else did or said everything is focused on our self. How we feel. How we are effected by what they did to us. Etc. Instead you can shift your focus to helping someone else. This will keep you from staying focused on your self.
By doing these three things you will be the one in control of your thoughts and feelings and will no longer allow your self or your happiness to be controlled by what someone else said or did.
Now, at times what is going on in your mind may be about an actual problem that will eventually need to be solved But when you step away temporarily and do all three steps above, when you do come back to the problem at hand you will be in a more positive place and mindset to be able to then work on solving the issue at hand.
So now you know all three myths we tell ourselves that keep us from being happy and what you can do about them. Go back and look at all three videos and put some if not all into practice so that you can bring in your own happiness.
If this was helpful information, share it with a friend.